SO once again I was right. Love is not a real thing, especially when a guy says he's fallen for you thana few weeks later turns around and decides hes not sure if he really wants you anymore. Boys are worse than girls, they dont know what we want anymore than girls do. Its true .. how can we know what we want when guys go around talking for the sake of making noise!!! But of course i still like the guy.. how could i not? Its like a drug girls can't resist, once we get a taste we want it more and more. But i am offically off my own personal drug. Life is much more than boys, school friends and experiences are what makes a person not who the arm candy is.

Free the Children!!! Me to We day!

Today was a cery special day, I went to the Me to We day at the ACC in Toronto. It was one of the most inspirational and amazing talks I've ever been to.
I know its suppose to be inspirational and amazing but it really was, the speakers were really good too. I have to say my favourite speaker was Elise Wiesel, the author of Night. I never read the book cover to cover but Weisel as a speaker was THE best speaker ever!! Even though he has a thick accent and is 81, he was the most inspirational, my favourite quote from his speach is "Life is not measured in years but in the moments, in the actions, and in the happiness you achieve." Famous Words if I've heard them. This man's speach was so mind gripping, so inspirational, so enchanting, I had to yell at children to shut up while he was talking. I suggest everyone read his book and respect this man, a Holocaust surviver, in all his 81 year old glory.

Its Over

It is not fair for people to control your emotions or limit you emotions. Some people are good at tuning out the garbage people say and just don't listen to bullshit, but people (like me) are not so good at it. Nice people who do take bullshit and who do listen, respect, and trust a lot of people. I am deffinately one of these people and as of today I am deffinately trying not to be! I am nice, my friends say too nice but its true, and I trust people but today someone made me realize that they had me under their comand, I was waiting for their text, I was waiting for their call. Well not anymore!! I'm sick of stupidity, I'm sick of waiting for people, I am offically deciding who is and is not worth my time. It may sound a little mean or even stupid to change how I see things but I am tired and sick of waiting for people. Its over and I'm finished. If they want to talk to me they know where to find me, if they want to text me just do it! don't wait to see if I text you, I can't read minds!!!

Lesson here is don`t wait for people, let them come to you. Friends of course by all means go for it, but other people can come to you, if they want you they can find you. Don`t waste time waiting for people who are not worth your time.

Change for You.

This song gets its very own post, for obvious reasons. "Change for You" by The Midway State is a song that talks about something everyone dreams of when they "mess up". I lately have been feeling this way, wanting, wishing, to change for someone I really care about. See this song says things for me that I can't say myself, I wish i could change to become your perfect girl, the one you want me to be, the one you wish I could be. But I'm not. You will just have to settle for me, which as my best friends tell me is not that horrible :) but its the "ideal" want. Every time i hear this song I think of one person, I'll just call him Monte Byrnes, I think of him a lot and even though I may not believe in love, if I did Monte comes to my mind. He makes me remember when I believed in love and believed in people caring for one another in ways friends and family can't.

As for the messing up part, I am very good at it. A special trait I inherited from family, I believe no one is truly like their parents, everyone is their own person, but we have tendencies that are familiar. Messing up is something I do on my own, I take full responsibility for all my actions but no ones perfect. No one will be the perfect person you want, as much as we wish we could be. I know I could be better and that people want other people to be better. I would change for you if I could, but than I wouldn't be me, the me you originally fell for, the me who cares more than anything.

Never change for someone no matter how much you care for them, if they care for you, they will "love" you for you and no one else. Don't pretend to be something your not, even if it feels like the right thing to do because if you change you are the fool.

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Love Bites.. no question about it.

Love.. a word i personally think is crap. Some might say I'm bitter, maybe I am. But love is a word i do not through around a lot. Platonic love of course, like the way I love my friends and family. The love for someone else however, I do not think it exists, well not for everyone.

How do you really know what love is? What's the definition of love? Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary describes love as "Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties" Now that's one of the many definitions for love, but you get the idea. But how are we suppose to know what love is like if we have never felt it before? We don't because people can fall in and out of love, example my parents. Now I'm sure your thinking "OH! poor little girl with divorced parents" but I'm not bitter it's a fact. People can change their mind and opinion of someone in a small amount of time. Now the greatest love song ever written is probably "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston. I'd like to see someone argue that this song is not the greatest love song ever.

Like the wind, we change direction, I don't mean north, south, east, west, I mean how we feel or think. So my arguement is this: How can you truly love someone if you have never felt that way about someone before, and how do you know you won't change your mind months/years later?

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I started this blog for the wrong reason.. I started so I could review music and get my name out there, instead it turned into my personal diary that involves music. A way to express myself in a different way. By saying that here is my latest entry.

Life is not fair. Something I learn everyday but what keeps life good, fun, and as fair as life can be is friends. A support group of people who are always there for you no matter what. At 3am or 3 in the afternoon. Now the song that makes me know that this is true is Nicklebacks "I Come for You" .. I know its Nickleback.. but if you listen to the lyrics its more than just Nickleback, its the truth about caring and being there for someone no matter what. This song reminds me of my best freinds, I know that when I need them they are here for me and I can count on them, and they know I will always be there.. even if i get waken up in the middle of the night I'm there. This song speaks volumes and stays true to its words.. because I would come for any of my friends I'd be there. And this is how you know your friends are your best friends because if you need them they are here for you. I know this is getting repetitive but I can't stress it enough. When I needed my best friend and I was alone and upset, she was there, and she helped me through the rough spots. The love is unconditional and the trust is unspokenly known. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who's there for you and who isn't. People may surprise you, people who you would never have expected to be there might, so keep an open mind and an open heart :)

Doesn't It Suck When..

Well it sucks when your iTunes is being really gay and you can't listen to your music. It sucks when you find your old Cd's and they are scratched and it really sucks when the soundtrack of your life is not what you wish it to be..

You know when you meet someone and there is a song that reminds you of them? And when you see them you have that little love song playing in your head.. well not me! But this guy is pretty awesome and we are great friends but can't be catergorized as just friends because we have more than friend moments. So we are stuck in this constant friends than more than friends than not speaking.. advice is something i'm good at giving but taking my own is not. Reminds me of the song Crushcrushcrush by Paramore I'm not exactly sure why but it does. Change, as you may have read before, is not something I'm good with either.. I like it when i know whats going to happen and what I should expect. Only thing i can do about "us" is sit on the computer and write this and listen to some good Jason Moraz, White Stripes, Fefe Dobson, and Ten Second Epic.. and watch as my life playlist writes itself. Wonder if it's possible to make your own playlist, make what you want to happen happen.. So that's what i'm going to do.. write the playlist of my life.. make things happen.. fall inlove with life, music, and maybe even a guy :)

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